Relationships

The kind of man you deserve

The kind of man you deserve isn’t looking for a woman to complete his kitchen. While I’m sure the steaks need marinating and the fruits need washing, I’m also sure his momma taught him how to do that.

The kind of man you deserve isn’t looking to shepherd you into sedated submission. He isn’t a pastor or in seminary, and he also isn’t in Africa “doing missions.” He isn’t finishing his Ph.D., or feeding starving children on TV. He is not your ideal, and he will never satisfy your deepest longings. His hair is growing in a spot that will always annoy you, and his style could use help.

His eyes are the wrong shade of blue, green, or brown. You always thought Prince Eric would be the mold God followed when he “made the guy for you.”

The kind of man you deserve is not the man your dreams settled for. Not the man Disney settled for. He is not a model, or a sex symbol, and he will never act exactly like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. He’s probably not as pure as you’d like — and he has tombs he’s afraid to let light into — but he’s filled all his holes with the right Holy.

The kind of man you deserve is not David Beckham, he is not a hipster, and he is not well-travelled. He has maps and treasure chests hidden in exotic, suburban places, but you wouldn’t know it from his passport. He doesn’t show you his passport on a first date.

When culture pedestals “the right guy,” don’t fall into his arms without a parachute; he may not be the “right guy.” Because if there’s one thing we’ve figured out, it’s that love — the kind that can’t afford skywriting but always buys flowers — isn’t built on billboards or awards shows.

The kind of man you deserve isn’t out with binoculars comparing his preschool drawing of “ideal wife” to women on the street. He isn’t honking the car horn or whistling.

But the kind of man you deserve is passionate. He lifts the sails and holds your compass. He is set on fulfilling purpose as it stands in The Truth — and it’s not in a fake, plastered, predictably religious way. It is just his way. And his way is His way. So being around him makes you want Him.

The kind of man you deserve doesn’t always come along. And that’s OK. There is nothing shameful about being single — unless you’re at that church night service, which might as well be titled, “Single and Seriously Looking.”

Your worth isn’t dependent on a white dress before a mid-20s birthday. It doesn’t lurk in clubs. It doesn’t shout for “easy.” You are not the product of a wedding day, and a wedding day — or impending marriage — isn’t the product of your life.

The kind of man you deserve doesn’t determine your worth.

Whether you find him or not.

Photo (Flickr CC) by Jeremy.

Kona