I opened the break room door and the smell of fajitas met me, along with a man in scrubs. He stood up and shook my hand, all six feet and four inches of him and looking like someone from People‘s Most Beautiful 2016.
One minute, it’s a normal Friday. The next, I’m fully aware of my sexuality. For the rest of the day, every muscle buzzed as if I’d guzzled a gallon of coffee.
I realize that singles like me aren’t the only ones who have to keep their sex-drives on a leash. Married people run into flirty strangers too and have to deal with temptation like rest of us. Still, being single and choosing to defer sexual enjoyment until marriage has its moments (and days) of frustration.
Life’s going fine and then a half-naked person pops up in our Facebook newsfeed. We’re watching a movie Saturday night and a sex scene comes on. We’ve been dating for five months and keeping physical contact at kissing can feel like trying to halt an avalanche with a shovel.
These moments remind me of the yellow cockatiel I had as a kid. One day, she escaped her cage and, seeing the green lawn glistening in the sun, flew towards it and crashed into the sliding glass door.
Celibacy can feel like that door. God wired us for sex, but our decision to remain celibate until marriage—and God’s apparent lack of movement in the spouse department—gets in the way.
So what do we do when our sex drives rev up? When we find our noses on the glass, longing for the world beyond? I think we have two options.
We can bang our heads against the pane, trying to force our way through and giving ourselves a spiritual concussion in the process. Or, we can look for Jesus, find him on this side of the glass, and walk toward him.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be out there frolicking on the lawn. But, since Jesus is calling me to a different kind of life, at least for now, I don’t want to keep bashing my head against the glass. I’d rather turn and follow him
Originally posted at shannongianotti.com.
