After a 4:30 a.m. wake up call, I figured a little caffeine was in order to make it through my early morning flights. I had a long day ahead of me, and Starbucks sounded like a perfect fix before the first boarding call. The misery of waking up at the crack of dawn completely justified my desire to splurge. Or at least that is what I kept telling myself.
But as I contemplated my #firstworldproblems, (should I get the cinnamon swirl or blueberry muffin on the side?) guilt hit me like a ton of bricks before I even made it to the register.
Here I was, standing in line at Starbucks, while families across the country would be standing in line at homeless shelters, hoping for a warm meal. Children would be without enough food in their bellies, while mine would be warm with a gingerbread flavoured latte sloshing around inside it.
My financial stability allowed me to jet across the country, while other individuals barely afford the gas to get them across town to make it to work everyday. Barely afford running water or electricity. Barely know day-to-day whether they will have a roof over their heads.
The reason for my trip was to visit friends who had asked me to be their newborn son’s godmother. I was honoured and thrilled to teach this sweet child about God’s amazing love. My excitement had only grown deeper the week before at church as I watched an infant and toddler get baptized. I smiled from ear to ear as I watched, realizing the beauty of the responsibility I would be promising to take on in just one short week. My role would call me to love that child, ensuring he grew into a man of faith.
But my eagerness and excitement suddenly became coupled by doubt in that Starbucks line. Who am I teach this child about God? I’m a sinner. Selfishness flows through my being, as made evident by my early morning money squander at Starbucks, simply because I couldn’t “survive” without a cup of coffee.
My doubt was met with the reality that my future role as godmother was not going to be all sunshine and roses. Teaching about God’s love will also mean teaching this child about the pain and sadness and sin in the world. A world filled with injustice. Injustices like how some people go hungry while others drink overpriced lattes. My role would mean teaching my godson about a broken world in desperate need of God’s grace and forgiveness.
As perfect as I think my two-month old godson is, he is not. As much as I marvel at his innocence in infancy, I know deep down that he too is a sinner. Selfishness already courses through his tiny veins.
I am a sinner asked to guide another sinner in an imperfect world. I struggle with this. I wrestle with this. I have not been quite sure how to make this right in my mind.
Until I remember that God’s love is perfect for me, that His love is perfect for my godson. And that God’s love is perfect for this imperfect world.
Flickr photo (cc) by THEfunkyman
